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Friendly Mind Continued...

This awareness about what’s happening helps us control our senses, if we want to practice real yoga successfully. According to Vedic literature, there is no success in life without controlled senses. It is necessary to achieve the level of self-control.
If someone has a peaceful mind, he can control his senses. Control of the senses helps to control the mind, control of the mind helps sense control. Therefore, it’s good to practice both. Controlled mind is a friend. Uncontrolled mind is an enemy. Uncontrolled mind can go so far that it will tell you that the best thing in a certain moment is to commit suicide. That’s an extreme situation where the mind is completely crazy.
Therefore a person who wants self-realisation, wants to advance in spiritual life, wants peace and happiness, will make an effort to control his mind and to make it a friend.
Are you aware of the internal dialogue that goes on in the mind all the time? What is it that the mind tells us? Is it something encouraging, something that helps us, or is it something that doesn’t help us, that degrades us, that is discouraging?
If we practice, if we work with the mind, which is like an instrument,     we can elevate our life to a higher level and be happy even in this life. It is said that the mind of a self-controlled person is like an ocean. Many rivers flow into the ocean. They might be turbulent and fast, but because the ocean is very calm, they also become calm within that ocean. They become the water of the ocean.
Similarly, many desires may appear in our mind, but if one is self-controlled, those desires will not agitate him. He will be able to see those desires, acknowledge their presence, but not be disturbed and overwhelmed. Above all, he will not be induced to do something about fulfilling those desires.
When you see a spiritually advances persons, it’s not that he doesn’t experience desires. They also encounter tests. The difference between them and us is that they pass those tests and don’t come under the influence of those desires.
How it is possible that one controls the mind? It is possible if one absorbs his mind with something better, like a child who plays with toys. If you take away all the toys, he will become distressed and disturbed, perhaps create even more problems. But if you give him a better toy, he will be satisfied. For instance, if he plays with a knife, it’s dangerous. If you take away the knife, he might cry. If you give him something else, he will be absorbed and peaceful. At least it’s likely to happen.
Similarly, the mind must be engaged in something. To engage the mind positively and spiritually, we chant the Hare Krishna maha mantra, a spiritual sound vibration, the names of God, and it helps us calm the mind, and to absorb it in that spiritual vibration.

There are six enemies of the mind. If we become aware of them, it will be easier to defend from them. They are lust, anger, greed, envy, illusion and madness. All these agitate our mind. They are also called the “six highway robbers”. When they are present, the mind is agitated, when they are not present, the mind is peaceful.
One who is interested in self-realisation, who wants peace of mind, will never trust his mind. He will never think “I am now sufficiently self-controlled, I have now rejected all sinful activities, I am now an advanced devotee and there is no problem. I can control myself and I don’t have to be cautious.”
The mind is like a tamed animal. Sometimes they tame lions. Even when they are tamed, we still have to be cautious, because at any moment they can harm us. Therefore, a self-realised person always carefully deals with his mind and controls it.
It’s favourable to be aware what we think. We have that ability while the animals don’t. They live and think “Where’s food, etc.”, but we can observe what we think. Three functions of the mind are thinking, feeling, and willing, and they can be observed. We can become more aware of them.
Those who practice spiritual life and make a conscious effort to think certain things, to focus on certain things, are sometimes surprised when all of a sudden something unwanted or strange appears in the mind. Plop! Thus sometimes monks become bewildered, “What is this? Is this a sign that I am not a monk, that I am not a devotee? Maybe this is a sign that I have to go back to my old habits. Maybe this is a sign that I need to get married. Maybe this is a sign that I should give in to my senses and the mind. Maybe this is a sign that I have gone crazy. Maybe this is a sign that I should kill myself.” One who is self-realised knows what is this “Plop!”. That is simply something quite usual, the test of the illusory energy. She is checking whether we are still serious about spiritual life.
Why monks fall down? There are many reasons. It may be because they don’t pass the test, they don’t have a sufficient higher taste, they don’t have enough faith, they are not firmly established in the spiritual knowledge. We have to build a strong foundation for our spiritual life. If one practices and becomes aware of the mind and its functions, he will be able to better control the mind, to tell the mind what to do. He will not allow the mind to make him fall down.
Bhagavad-gita As It Is says:
“For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his mind will remain the greatest enemy.” (Bg 6.6)

In our recent seminar we spoke about how to become more aware of what’s going on in the mind, and how to ask effective questions. We are giving practical tools for controlling the mind, like re-directing the mind towards spiritual things, spiritual sound vibration, spiritual activities, and engaging the senses. For example, if you engage your senses in the activities of a spiritual service, then it’s easier to control the mind. Or if you absorb the mind in the spiritual philosophy or in spiritual mantras and prayers, then it’s much easier to control the senses. In this way we attack the enemy from all sides.

Another tool that is effective for controlling the mind is powerful questions. The power of questions for achieving results in life and for controlling the mind is illustrated by a true story from the Second World War.

Asking the right question can actually save your life. It did save Mr Lech's life. The Nazis stormed into his home one night and herded him and his family into a death camp in Krakow, Poland. His family was murdered before his eyes.

Weak, grieving, and starving, he worked from sunrise to sundown alongside the other prisoners of the concentration camp. How could anyone survive such horrors? Somehow he continued. One day, he looked at the nightmare around him and concluded that if he stayed there even one more day, he would die. He decided that he must escape. And most important, he believed that, even though no one before him had escaped, somehow there was a way.

His focus changed from how to survive to asking instead, "How can we escape from this horrible place?" He received the same answer over and over from prisoners. "Don't be a fool! There is no escape. Asking such questions will only torture your mind." But he wouldn't accept this answer. He kept asking himself, "How can I escape? There must be a way. How can I get out of here?"

One day, his answer came. Lech smelled rotting flesh just a few feet from where he worked: men, women, and children who had been gassed and whose naked corpses had been piled into the back of a truck. Instead of focusing on the question "How could God allow something so evil to happen?," he asked himself, "How can I use this to escape?"

As the sun set and the work party left for the barracks, he pulled off his clothes and dove naked into the pile of bodies while no one was looking.

Pretending to be dead, he waited with the sickening smell of death all around him, the weight of the corpses pressing upon him. Finally, he heard a truck engine start. After a short ride, the mountain of bodies was dumped into an open grave. He waited until he was certain no one was nearby, and ran - naked - the twenty five miles to freedom.

What made a difference between the fate of Lech and that of many millions who died in concentration camps? There were probably several factors, but one big difference is that he asked a different question. And he asked it over and over, with expectation, certain he would receive an answer.

We ask ourselves questions all day long. Our questions influence our focus, how we think, and how we feel. Asking the right questions can be a major way to turn our life around. Instead of asking, "Why is life so unfair?" and "Why don't my plans ever work out?," we may ask questions that could give us useful answers.
Therefore, how great difference will bring to your life questions that are empowering, and not questions that drain your energy and take away the possibility to succeed.   

For example, we ask ourselves a classic question “Why they…?” “Why they do this or that?”

Who are “they”?

The government, demigods that make trouble with the weather or create other natural disturbances, society, my colleagues at the workplace, family members. Who else? Ants, mosquitoes, the wind (which brought me a headache today), bus drivers, bowels.

We can blame so many people and things. We sometimes make a condition that when “they” become perfect, I will become too. Until then, I have an excuse that because you are not perfect, I am also not perfect, and I don’t want to make an effort.” However, statistics show that successful people ask themselves a different question. Instead of “Why they?” they ask “How can I?”. “How can I contribute to a positive change?” “What’s the best thing I can do in this situation?”

Let’s say you have a conflict. That’s usual. During a conflict we usually think, “Why is this person like this? Somehow I have to convince this person to change.” But if we ask ourselves a question, “What I can do to help resolve this conflict? What I can do to understand this person? What is my responsibility in this situation towards God, towards people, towards myself?”, then it’s a different approach. We are the only person we can change. We cannot change others. We can try to influence them, but we cannot change them. We can influence people if they allow us, if they trust us, have a relationship with us.      
A quality of questions we ask ourselves determines a quality of our thinking, what goes on in the mind every day, and that, in turn, determines the quality of the results that we get. Therefore, maybe it pays off to change the quality of our questions and the quality of our thinking. If we change the way we think, we can change the quality of our lives.

What about how we feel (another function of the mind)? Do you know that you can choose the way you feel?

Do you know that you can get up in the morning and say, “Today, I’m not going to be frustrated”? It is possible. I have one simple technique. It might seem too simple but if you try it you’ll see that it works. It works for me, it works for others, and we teach this technique in various cities around Europe.

When you are upset, raise tour arms high and try to remain frustrated with your arms raised. Try hard to remain disturbed! Does it work? Can you be frustrated in that position? It will be very difficult. So get up, raise your arms, and lift up your head. Motion brings emotion. Change of the bodily posture changes the state of mind. Instantly. Just raise your hands and the state of mind changes.

But we like to be depressed. Why? Because then I am in the centre. “Oh, poor me! I have so many problems. No one notices me.” Therefore, frustration is maybe a way to draw attention to ourselves. We might like when someone asks us, “Oh, what’s the matter with you?” And we think, “Great! I’m getting attention.”

One way you can be happy whole day is to decide in the morning to focus on others, not on yourself. “Let me do something for my friends, for my family. Let me focus on others. For the past fifty years I think of myself only. Let me practice at least for one day, and see what happens. See whether at the end of the day I’ll be happy or not.”

There are many ways and techniques, but I strongly recommend powerful questions for changing the quality of our thinking. For example, you may take a verse from the Bhagavad-gita and turn it into a question. Bhagavad-gita’s timeless knowledge is so powerful. It comes from Krsna, God. The verse turned into a question changes the quality of our thinking and of our life. Try it and let me know the result. There are 700 verses and most verses can be turned into a question that can be a useful tool for controlling the mind.

Scriptures like Bhagavad-gita are not only theological or religious theory. They are meant to be used in everyday life. That’s why we do service of coaching, which helps to apply daily that which is written in the books of wisdom.

In controlling the mind, there must be vigilance. We shouldn’t trust the mind. It can allow the enemies of the mind to rule over us at any moment. The best Samurais, Japanese warriors, after their intense training, have to pass the final test, the test of life or death. They put a warrior in a dark room, who is to be attacked after some time by another skilled warrior, who tries to kill him with all his might. Therefore, the warrior who is tested must be awake. He doesn’t know when he’ll be attacked. He must not sleep. He must have sharp reflexes. He must be awake, and defend his own life in the dark.

Srila Prabhupada said that as this warrior is vigilant, we need to be vigilant regarding the illusory energy which tries to drag us every moment away from Krsna or from focusing on spiritual matters. Such vigilance is absolutely necessary.

It’s very easy to become complacent and think, “I am now okay. I’ve been chanting for 20 years already. I have eaten about 5 tons of prasadam, food that was offered to God. I hope I’ve been purified.” In the matter of seconds we can slip into illusion again.

Few days ago one devotee told me how he was shocked that after many years of sincerely practicing Krsna consciousness some weird things started to appear very intensely in his mind. He was bewildered. We discussed it and concluded that the illusory, material energy tested him. He might not be interested in material, sinful activities anymore, but at the same time, he might have made an offence, or did something else that is wrong. So maya, material energy, was checking where he was at, whether he was still serious and sincere, whether he has become proud because he’d been practising spiritual life for 20 years, whether he thinks he’s better than others. If one has a leadership position, that’s another reason to think you’re better than others. And he has one.

Whoever becomes proud, he comes into a very dangerous situation to fall under the influence of illusion and to fall down. Therefore cautiousness is essential.

It is said that the mind is a king of cheats, therefore vigilant observation of what’s happening must be there. Thinking, feeling, willing, what desires are there? What do I feel?

I feel a strong desire to enjoy the material world. I feel a strong desire to have money. I feel a strong desire for fame. Or these could be in small degrees. Here and there they popup, “Hmm, euro, euro, money, money. What can I do? I am a yogi, but I’m interested in money. How to connect the two?”

There is a way, but be conscious, be introspective, think deeply. Srila Prabhupada gave the principle of simple living and high thinking. Think high and simplify your life. Some people are experts in complicating their lives.

Sometimes devotees come to me for coaching and say, “Oh, you know what? I have thousands of problems. I have thousands of things. My head is spinning. I’m all over the place, in England, in India, in Croatia. Ah, it’s heavy, it’s intense! What should I do? Where to start?”

What is the first thing? Write it down. Let it out on paper. Take a deep breath and say – Hare Krsna. If you put it on paper, you can see it more clearly, you can evaluate it.

Again, what will help you is the right question, which may come from your coach or a spiritual guide. You have so many things on your mind, but what’s important to you?

“Oh, I didn’t think about it because everything seems important to me. I don’t know what seems to be important but everything is urgent!”

What is urgent? What will happen if you don’t do this?

“Nothing significant.”           

What will happen if you don’t do that?

“Nothing special.”

Thus we may come to a conclusion that only one out of ten things is important, and others are urgent. We are completely overwhelmed with the urgent, because we have this concept that urgent things are what we have to do right away. Ancient wisdom of the Vedic civilization teaches us to focus on the important, not on the urgent.

Of course, sometimes we have to react to the urgent, because it can be also important. But mainly, urgent is not as important as the important is. What is it that is most important? What life questions are most important? If you always come back to most important life questions, like who am I, where am I going, why I suffer, why I have to die, who are these people around me, who are my family members – then you may come “down to earth” and cool down from the pressure and the torture of the urgent. (There’s a even book called “The Tyranny of the Urgent”.)

When we coach people we see that the majority of the pressure and stress is, believe it or not, self-imposed. What do you think of that? Do you think I’m exaggerating?

This self-imposing habit must be stopped, this self-sabotage. We sometimes mix humility with self-sabotage. With the intent to be humble, we work completely against ourselves.

Another tool that can help us make our mind a friend is a different perspective. Move away from your situation, either mentally or literally, take a birds-eye view, get on a balcony, change perceptual positions, change the angle of looking at your life. If you also have someone who can, with right questions and support, help you to objectively perceive your life, this might help you control the mind, and come to the right conclusions about how to proceed.

Therefore, it’s very important how we think. We are intelligent beings. It’s very important how this intelligence is used to control the mind. So if you have someone who will ask you what do you really want within your heart, it’s very precious.

You may say, “I live my life. People tell me this and that. My parents, my school, the newspapers, TV, there are so many things. TV always tells me that if I don’t have this product I’m not a man. If I don’t have this diploma, I’m not a man.”

The commercial is made in such a way that only a “real man can use that special spray”. Then we become proud, identifying with the TV commercials, or with fashion magazines. “If I wear this latest fad dress or suit, I am somebody. When I walk on the main street, sparks will fly, and people will ask – who is this?”

If you really want people to turn around and look at you on the street, wear doti. They will be amazed! Or they will laugh. But they don’t know that by laughing at the doti they make spiritual advancement. Especially if they also say Hare Krsna. Lord Caitanya provoked the boys who teased him for continuously chanting Hare Krsna, by pretending that he’s disturbed by their imitation of the chanting. In this way, they chanted more. That is intelligence. He tricked them, but they benefited by chanting Hare Krsna.

So we don’t want our mind to fall under material influences. We want to lead our lives spiritually. We don’t want to be manipulated by the media. You may say, “You also want to manipulate me, to wash my brain. Brainwashing was mentioned in the newspapers, and I trust newspapers. You want me to become one of you, to engage me in service 100%.”

This is maybe possible for some time, to engage you fully without your deeper understanding. Some of us may tell you, “This is great, you know? You’ll not go to hell. Come with us on a preaching mission. Grab people by the neck. Give them the books. Tell them to chant Hare Krsna. You also chant Hare Krsna. We have great food, great entertainment, slide shows.”

People come, approach us, and for some time we can fascinate them, but one day their mind says, “Is this really me? Am I really interested in that Krsna?” Therefore, in spiritual life, through purification we approach deeper levels of our free will. Than life becomes exciting, interesting and intense.

So the question is what do you want.

Do you want to pretend to be a devotee or you want to be a genuine devotee? Do you want to pretend to have a good character, to present yourself as an honest man (especially on a TV), or you want to do things that please God, anonymously? The things that He sees, but no one else sees.

Anonymous service is a powerful tool for personal development. When you do things that only God sees, the God in the heart, the Supersoul. Do you have the experience of anonymous service? I encourage you to do it.

What we usually tend to think? “Ah, I work and no one notices. They do not see. They are ungrateful. No recognition. No respect. No medals. No golden watches. No bonuses. No raise. Something is wrong here. These managers must be wrong. They don’t recognize the employees.”

However, Mother Teresa quoted a poem by a Harvard University student Kent Keith, called “Do It Anyway”. The essence of the poem is that whatever you do, if people are ungrateful, do it anyway. Be good, be okay. Why? Does it mean you’re naïve? No, the poem says, this was anyway “not between you and them, it was between you and God”. God sees everything. He is the supreme witness. If we do anonymous service, He is pleased that we don’t want any credit.

These are only some of the things that can help us to have a peaceful mind, still like an ocean. There are many more in the Bhagavad-gita As It Is, which I strongly recommend to you to read. In this way we can use the ancient wisdom to make the mind a friend and elevate our life to a higher level of knowledge and happiness.

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