From: "Vrin Parker " Mailing-List: list vediculture@yahoogroups.com Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 21:06:40 -0000 Subject: [world-vedic] Marriage in Hindu tradition Marriage in Hindu tradition You're my Laxmi, I'm your Narayana, Come, let us marry! DR JAGADISH SHARMA KANYADAN Kanyadan is the ceremony in which the rite of marriage is actually solemnized. At Kanyadan, the bridegroom is offered the Madhuparka worship. It should be noted that the Madhuparka worship is indicative of the highest honor that can possibly be accorded to human beings. Madhuparka worship is accorded only to five categories of people and even this no more than one time a year: Guru who solemnizes the Bratabandha, scholar who has been invited to perform a Yagya, the bridegroom, the King, dearest friend and the student who has just graduated. During the Madhuparka worship, the bridegroom is viewed as Narayana (Lord Vishnu) and the bride as Lakshmi (Lord Vishnu's consort). After the Madhuparka worship is completed, the bride is given away in marriage. The bride's father holds the thumb of the bride and puts it in the right hand of the bridegroom who is waiting for it all along with his arm extended and palm open. When the thumb of the bride is placed on the bridegroom's hand, the latter holds that thumb and continues to do so until the specific rite is completed. Holy mantras are chanted and the pieces of cloths which are attached to the waists of the couple are then tightly tied and knotted. The entire ceremony lends a solemn and romantic air. The following dialogue that takes place during Kanyadan is of special importance. Bridegroom: (To the bride's father) I am as bright among my equals as the sun is among the stars. I can conquer those who want to fight me. (To the bride presenting gifts) Oh dear lady, please accept these gifts and look beautiful. Please treat my wealth and descendants as you see fit. Live a life of one hundred years and grow old with me. (After the bride accepts the presents, while wrapping the bride with a shawl around her shoulders) I pray to the Goddesses who made the threads, synchronized them and wove them as this shawl to bless you with a long life and protect you till you are very old. Bride's father (addressing the two) - Look at each other with love and figure out who among the two of you is more attractive and beautiful. Bridegroom (face to face with the bride) - May the almighty Lord of this universe unite the two hearts of ours and make them complete. (After accepting the bride given away to him by the bride's father) Who is presenting this? Bride's father: The will. Bridegroom: To whom? Bride's father: To will. Taking, giving, and being given away are all nothing but acts of will. I have given you my daughter. You shall not enjoy any more right than she does especially in the fields of religion, wealth and human passion. Bridegroom: No, I shall not. (The Bridegroom walks along with the bride, and while walking, they look at each other). (To the Bride who is looking at him lovingly) Your glance is sweet and gentle. Be good to me and remain cheerful. Bloom with honour and bear fruit. Be brave and give birth to the brave ones. Comfort the two-and four-legged ones. All my desires are now vested in you. Find enjoyment with me and allow me to find enjoyment with you. The Priest: Pray the bride shall have a long and happy life, shall always enjoy the love and cohabitation of her husband, shall give birth to healthy children and shall enjoy happiness from those children. The Bridegroom: Oh Agni! (fire), let all our activities be successful; let us achieve the glories of this world, lead us to good paths, give us a bright and honourable life. Let death stay at a distance from us. Oh death, stay away from our divine path and do not victimize our descendants. The Bride: The fire is my witness. My relations with my parents and the family I was born with must never be cut off and my husband must never desert me. I am stating this in front of this fire. Let my husband have a long life and let my friends and relatives lead a life of prosperity and happiness. (To her husband) Oh my husband, I am offering this worship for your prosperity. Let this fire continue to be a witness to all those things which may have mutual interest to us. SAPTAPADI The literal meaning of the word Saptapadi is seven steps. In Hindu culture, close friendship based on equality is effected after taking seven steps together and after talking to each other on seven different subjects. The bride and bridegroom also take seven steps together and converse seven times in order to become inseparable friends with equal rights and duties toward each other. Bridegroom: Firstly, may Lord Vishnu always keep us together for our livelihood. (The two take their first step forward) Secondly, may Lord Vishnu always keep us together for the development of our respective strength and capabilities. (Second Step) Thirdly, let us always remain together for our enrichment and prosperity. (Third step) Fourthly, let us always remain together for our comfort and happiness. (Fourth step) Fifthly, may Lord Vishnu always keep us together for the protection and development of our cattle and other domestic animals. (Fifth step) Sixthly, may Lord Vishnu keep us together in all seasons, happiness and sorrow. (Sixth step) Seventhly, let us always assist each other in our work and duties. (The bride and bridegroom take their last and final step forward and walk together). Bridegroom: For the sake of good and prosperity, I hold this hand of yours. You shall grow old with me. All the Gods and Goddesses have gifted you to me as the Mistress of my household. I am what you are. And, you are what I am. You are the Lakshmi and I am the Narayana. You are the song and I am the rhythm. Come, let us marry. Let us have sex only together; let us have children; let us have many sons; let our children live long lives. Let us live a life of one hundred years full of love, strength and emotions. BADHUPRABESH Badhuprabesh is the ceremony in which the bride is escorted to her husband's home. As the bridegroom is about escort his wife into the house, his relatives jovially come in his way and try to prevent him from doing this. The bridegroom then promises to bestow all kinds of favours and finally succeeds in getting their consent. This is all part of the social merriment in a Hindu marriage ceremony. The bridegroom's mother comes forward in her finest clothes and escorts the bride to the treasure room. They try to collect and acquire as much grains and money as they possibly can. There is a competition between the two. The one who gets more is considered victorious. This is a moment of merrymaking. The two women finally help each other in storing the treasures they have managed to acquire. The mother-in-law shows the bride her entire treasure and gives her its keys. This is an entirely Nepali tradition developed over the years with a purpose to create intimacy, confidence and trust in each other. This tradition is also symbolic of the responsibility the two women mutually hold toward their common household. To sum up, a Hindu marriage ceremony is a social institution that is performed not just for show but also for upholding a tradition that is full of awe-some responsibilities to be borne by the newly married couple. (This article is based upon late Badagurujyu Shree Ambika Prasad Adhikari's Vaidic Bibaha Vidhi: Ek Parichaya.)